Seat of my pants

Now that I work from home I spend a lot of time alone. I like it. I also enjoy frequent walks, where I take the time to contemplate many of life’s mysteries, like the Big Bang Theory, why dryer sheets don’t work or how they got caramel in the Cara­milk bar. A good walk feeds my creative soul. Ideas arrive; inspiration. I wear running shoes, my down-filled vest, a hoodie and my black yoga pants. In this outfit, I am a strong, empowered woman walking the path to enlightenment one step at a time. Why just last week I concluded one critically important theory: yoga pants are a metaphor for life.

I am serious. Walk with me down the complicated path that is my logic, (be careful to step over my beloved Carpenter, who is dumbfounded that this is how I spend my days).

It’s simple logic really. On my walk, I got thinking about how all I really want from life is to be happy. So, I thought about what makes me happy: my children’s laughter, chip dip, the Big Chill soundtrack, writing for a living, gravy on my french fries, hugs from friends and my Carpenter. Oh, and my yoga pants. It’s true. As simple as it sounds, I like to be comfortable. When I’m comfortable, I’m happy. And when I am happy, people, I assure you, we are all safer. Why, my yoga pants just may be the centrifugal force of energy that comes from my own powerful Self, making the world a better place simply by being the ever-supportive centre of my gravity. 

Let me explain. Yoga pants, like life, are designed for a journey, not a destination. They are stretchable because in life, the only constant is change, so you’d better know how to stretch, bend and twist to get by.

Every day we expand our bodies, some with muscle, some with potato chips, but either way, in life, we try to expand without spilling over. In yoga pants, we are safe to expand however we choose in the sausage-effect that is a made possible by the spandex and lycra revolution.

Yoga pants are made of breathable fabric because body parts, like life, require you remember to inhale deep­ly and exhale fully. Breath is life. These pants are sweat repellent too. Life lesson? Don’t sweat the small stuff. Everyone needs to try that. These pants are even dryer friendly. They don’t shrink with age and neither should we. Instead they rebound to hold you together, all your sacred lumps and bumps, because in this life, you have to hold it together, despite your scars. Yoga pants fit you right, because you are all right, just as you are.

Then there is the obvious fashion issue. If you look good, you feel good. Yoga pants are a license to look fit. Besides, somewhere in your closet you have a really long sweater to cover the bloated bits. Plus, you look like a gym groupie, hence you appear health conscious. Nobody in their right mind will criticize that. Even better, yoga is cool. Now you’re cool too, without even going to a class. It’s sort of like having a fabulous career without ever having gone to university. Yep, that’s another metaphor for yoga pants and life.

You see? Change your perspective; change your life. Whatever you do, be comfortable in who you are, because this is your life. Go change your pants.

Kelly Waterhouse