Reverse psychology

Life is full of choices.

Gratitude is one of them. This got me thinking that perhaps this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for everything I don’t have, but have always actually wanted. Things I believed I needed to be happy. 

Shining the light on what you have versus what you do not can be a gratifying experience. It’s like taking off your rose-coloured glasses for the bifocals you now need just to read a text message. Sigh.

Like, I always wanted a perfect body. Always.

Imagine having more curves than an Indy racetrack and all the free stuff pretty gets you (trust me: gorgeous people get lots of free stuff). I’d be able to seduce (she says confidently) a man of every trade (plumber, electrician, woodworker, pool boy) to finish all the projects I need done around the house that someone else would have to pay for, because, hello? Free stuff.

Who needs that? Waking up every day beautiful and self-absorbed? Overrated. Qualified tradesmen at your beck and call, renovations completed, tool belts galore. No thanks. I like my every-room-unfinished lifestyle. Besides, my Carpenter loves my straight lines and even my dead ends. If he wanted an Indy car he kicked the wrong tires. Love is a choice, Carpenter, so there.

I always believed money would solve all my problems. I’d need lots of it, because I clearly have a lot of problems. I don’t want millions of dollars, maybe just one million. Okay, no, two million dollars. Five. Five million would really help me help others, because eventually I would want to do that – help others, I mean. Not right away, you understand. I’d need to think it through.

But would money make life better? I mean, who wants to live without fear, stress, anxiety and marital discord over whether or not to cancel the cable? Until you’ve played the blame game when they turn off your hydro, how do you know if your relationship is grounded (pardon the pun)? Keep it real, people. Keep it real.

I used to dream of world travel and exciting adventures in exotic destinations. Imagine seeing the world and experiencing incredible sights, (with a perfect body and millions of dollars you don’t need because, again, FREE stuff). Wow.

Only, I’d miss the Erin Fall Fair this weekend. Also, I’m afraid of experiencing kidney stones in a country where the doctor and I do not speak the same language.

So, yep, call me a home-body (and not the body I was hoping for: see above). Home is where the heart is.

Reverse psychology works, my friends. Don’t worry about what you don’t have; appreciate what you do. Be grateful you’ve been given anything at all and earn the rest. And have good-looking friends so you get free stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving.


Kelly Waterhouse