Halloween is upon us. This makes me ridiculously happy. Like most grown-ups, I love this tradition because it brings out the child in everyone who, like me, has refused to grow up.

I know this Halloween won’t be the same. No parties or large gatherings. I respect the rules, but it sure makes me grateful for all the Halloweens I spent dancing the night away at the Elora Legion with my imaginative friends in our wild costumes at the annual Monster Mash. This was the highlight of our social calendar.

Costumes were taken very seriously. Live music, dancing with my friends in the crowd,  hugging people you rarely get to see, raising a toast to fun. It’s scary that this doesn’t happen anymore. Between the Monster Mash, the Monster March parade and the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Gorge Cinema (where the Carpenter won for his Riff Raff impersonation), I have truly come to love Halloween around here. I will again.

I know this year there will be fewer kids knocking on doors in our neighbourhood. Parents will have to find creative ways to give their children a traditional Halloween experience. I truly hope families find safe ways to make it magical.

In our house, the spirit of Halloween will be a little different than the fun of previous years, but I’m going to create my own horror show inside the walls of our home. My husband and our daughter, now 20, are hard to freak out. They love a good horror flick and they don’t scare easily, so I’m going to have to be strategic. I have some frights planned. I thought I’d share them with you in case you need some inspiration.

I’m going to start early in the morning on Oct. 31 by hiding the coffee. Cruel, I know, but it will be amusing to watch my two zombies mumble around the kitchen in search of the fine grind. I may record them. It will be my own horror movie. Of course, I’ll have a cup before they wake up. Eventually, I’ll cave in and make them a pot, because they will be scary. So scary.

Jump scares are popular in my house, so I’ve decided to dress up as the grim reaper and hide in various places throughout the house. I’ll print off a bank statement of our debt load and when the moment is right, I’ll burst out and shove the paper in my spouse’s face. BAM! Nothing scarier than that reality. Mortgage payments with interest? Mwah, ha, ha. Next up, credit cards bills. When he pulls back the shower curtain, I’ll be standing in the tub and scream, “Christmas is in two months. Gotcha!” That ought to do it.

If that’s not petrifying enough, I’m going to leave the toilet roll empty on the roller and move the toilet paper as far away from the toilet as possible. Horror indeed. Welcome to my weekly nightmare.

Then, I’ll serve up fear for Halloween dinner. Meatloaf without ketchup. They will actually have to taste their food. Be afraid. Be very afraid. And when it comes to shelling out sweet treats, I will remove all the Kit Kats from the box of assorted chocolate bars and blame it on the ghosts. Boo.

Terrifying, I know. That’s how I roll. I hope you and yours have a frightfully fun Halloween.

Stay safe.

WriteOut of Her Mind