Thank goodness a global pandemic didn’t shut down the National Football League (she says sarcastically). The one day a week my husband is home to help with household tasks comes to a complete halt come game time. Yet, I do find it endearing.
The Carpenter deserves some joy working as hard as he does and I accept that only one person can deliver it: Russell Wilson of the Seattle Seahawks. I get it. I cannot offer what Russell can. I’m not a quarterback. I cannot catch a football, much less throw one. I’m still learning my yards, downs, plays and calls. Throw a flag already.
What I can do is show support for my husband’s team. I admit this is jumping on the bandwagon solely to secure personal affection. Don’t judge me. It works.
Of course, I wouldn’t dare don the Carpenter’s Russell Wilson jersey. He would not be amused. Some guys might find that cute, sexy even, but my husband would not be turned on. It would have the opposite effect. That shirt is sacred. It has magic powers. My mojo would surely interfere with its awesome powers. Bad luck.
So, I invested in my own Seahawks gear. Smart play. When I put on that over-sized Seahawks T-shirt with its blue, green and grey bird, the Carpenter smiles at me in a way that suggests I just might score a touchdown of my own. Good luck (note: the score board reflects otherwise. I blame Russell Wilson. He’s just too good not to watch). I can’t compete. But I can cause trouble.
Last weekend, I watched ESPN Sunday NFL Countdown to prepare for game time. The Carpenter found this endearing, but assured me that I didn’t need to know anything more than that on this sacred NFL Sunday, Russell Wilson was going to break records. I suggested my spouse get back to washing the dishes and leave me to my research.
I watched a segment on Patrick Mahomes, quarterback for last year’s Super Bowl-winning Kansas City Chiefs. Impressive guy. I knew what to do.
I walked to the living room stairs and yelled up to the kitchen, where the Carpenter was working peacefully, “That Patrick Mahomes kid is like a football god.”
A wounded voice replied, “Who are you? I don’t even know you anymore.”
I spouted stats and whatever sporadic details I could repeat from the ESPN crew. I failed, miserably. The Carpenter was amused. Of course, he could trump all my lousy stats with Russell facts. To make peace, I assured him the Mahomes comment was my backward way of bestowing a good luck blessing on Russell. Honest.
Sure enough, that night, Russell threw five touchdown passes, making 14 on the year, topping Mahomes’ record for most touchdown passes through the first three games of a player’s regular season, with 925 passing yards and just one interception. He’s also the first player in league history to throw four or more touchdown passes in each of the first three games of a season. And the first Seahawks player in franchise history to have back-to-back five-touchdown games. You’re welcome, Carpenter.
He is going to love my new Mahomes jersey. Kidding. I know my line of scrimmage.