Old farmer’s advice

Ever since I moved to the corner farm with the rural route address in the hilly outback of Markdale, my chuckle bucket has received a notable increase in emails relating to life in the country.

This past week came one that I would feel a little remiss if I did not pass it on to you.

It was forwarded to me from one of the locals who I happened to meet a couple of years ago.

Its subject is titled Wisdom from the Tractor Seat of a Tired – Retired Farmer.

“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.”

“Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.”

“Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.”

“A bumblebee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.”

“Words that soak into your years are whispered – not yelled.”

“Meanness don’t just happen overnight.”

“Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.”

“Do not corner something that is meaner than you.”

“It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.”

“You cannot unsay a cruel word.”

“Every path has a few puddles.”

“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”

”The best sermons are lived, not preached.”

“Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.”

“Don’t judge folks by their relatives.”

“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”

“Live a good and honourable life; then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.”

“Don’t interfere with something that ain’t bothering you none.”

“Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”

“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.”

“Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.”

“The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror each morning.”

“Always drink upstream from the herd.”

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”

“Letting the cat out of the bag is a lot easier than putting it back in.”

“If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.”

“Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and leave the rest to God.”

So there you have it, folks; my thoughts could not have been better said.

Take care, ‘cause we care.




Barrie Hopkins