With all due respect, Santa, I’d like to request you take me off your “Nice” list this year.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a remarkably good girl this year. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ve been nothing short of angelic. Pure goodness. But I think it’s time someone else gets a turn.
If we’re being honest (and I’m almost always honest), I would actually love to take someone’s spot on the “Naughty” list. Not like seriously bad naughty, but just enough naughty to keep life interesting. The rich, hot and scandalous version of naughty, but free of proof or conviction.
Think on it. Get back to me.
The truth is, Santa, I have enough. I have everything I need. I have everything I want. I don’t need anything more. Most importantly, I am ever aware of how fortunate and blessed I am. I don’t take any of it for granted.
Okay, I probably take a lot of it for granted most of the time, but only because like most people, I’m so busy living and doing the things I do day-to-day that I forget how fortunate I am that I get to do all that living and doing every day.
Sure, there are days where I grumble through the mundane tasks and monotony of social dilemmas, and the whole pressure to keep up with the rest of society, but then I come home and realize, I have enough. I have love. I am loved. I am loving. I have a wood stove now. That’s sexy.
So, please, Santa, give my presents to someone who truly needs them. Someone who will appreciate them. Someone who is nice and kind and keen to do good deeds – you know, like me.
Unless, of course, you were serious about the Toyota 4Runner, Santa, in which case, tell those do-gooders to get back in line where they belong, because I have a long driveway now and I need 4X4 traction and some naughty style, and you know how I feel about my Toyota.
I’ve only been asking for 34 years, sir. It’s a long time to wait. And you know I’ve played both sides of the Naughty and Nice list in those years, to no avail. I just don’t understand. And hey, it never hurts to ask, right?
No pressure there, big guy. Like I said, I have enough. I don’t need another thing to dust, move, sort, recycle or fold. If it’s not going to be good for the Earth, good for my mental health or good for a good time, I’ll pass.
Well, unless it’s those fancy alpaca socks. Oh, I would love those. Warm feet, warm heart, whatever. Those meet all the criteria.
What I would really like most Santa is for the people who are as fortunate as I am to recognize and respect those for whom this holiday is a difficult time.
And I don’t just mean think about them. No, I mean really make a difference, because we can.
Donate to a toy drive. Add food to the food bank bin. Call a friend who is grieving at this time. Light a candle and say a prayer for someone who needs it. Do a good deed.
Deliver a 4-Runner.
What? Just making sure you’re paying attention, Santa.
The Carpenter and I would like to wish our neighbours across Wellington County a very Merry Christmas, from our family to yours.