Rejection is a part of life that, in my experience, can make you or break you. It’s your choice. 

Knowing that doesn’t soften the blow, though. It takes courage, vulnerability and remarkable self-confidence to put yourself out there.

Sitting on the sidelines, watching someone you love deal with rejection after they took a personal risk, gave it their all and still didn’t make the cut, is challenging. Especially if you’re a parent. 

Whether your kids are six, 16, 36 or older, we feel the sting. Be it an audition, tryouts for a sports team, getting into their top choice of post-secondary school, the job interview, the house they put an offer on, or getting their hearts broken by someone not worthy of the access, it’s all too easy to say, “it will all work out as it should.” What do we know? Oh, we know.

I’ve learned repeatedly (see all of the above heartbreaks) that when you understand your true essence, that light within can and will outshine the shadows of all the roles you thought you needed to fit into, but never will, because those aren’t your roles to play. They weren’t meant for you. They are for someone else. And that’s okay. It’s not a failure, it’s just not your place. I pray my adult children learn this faster than I did.

Foster that courage that had you take the risk in the first place. Remember the vulnerability that allowed you to shine authentically. Honour that moment when you felt so confident in your own skin that you felt your power right to your core. You know who you are. That’s your essence. Yours and yours alone. Always.

Some people won’t like you. When you shine bright, you cast shadows on those who don’t know how to handle your bliss. And that’s okay. They aren’t your people. This is one of the hardest life lessons to learn because, sometimes, it makes you an outcast and few of us can handle the pressure of that feeling. Find a way. Do not dim your light for anyone. Ever.

While you may never understand the reasoning for the rejection you’ve faced, you have to come to terms with not needing to know. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It just doesn’t. Sometimes rejection is the greatest gift you didn’t see coming. It’s a sucker punch, but it doesn’t make you a sucker.

Forgive the cliche, but it’s true that when one door closes another door opens. Sure, sometimes, the first door slams you from behind and knocks you to the ground, but maybe you needed that to happen to knock some sense into you, to propel you forward, so you leap through the next door. Kick it open. Or politely knock. Your choice. But take the next step.  

You have the power of choice. How you react and how you move on from rejection is how you build your character. Keep learning. Fail often. Evolve. Adapt. And accept that when you do that, doors may still close in your face, rejection will still sting, judgements will still hurt. But you’re writing your own script. You have the lead role in your life. Take that seriously. Act accordingly.

Get to know your essence. Protect it. Honour it. Because, no matter what life throws at you, when you know who you are, well, you know who you are. And that, my darling ones, is everything.

WriteOut of Her Mind