As our family members age, the chances of someone you love being diagnosed with a life threatening condition can become a reality.
There are so many things that happen to a person and their family when they are given News which none of us are ever ready to accept.
For that family member there are many emotions they will need to deal with, as well as for the family members that they love so dearly.
A terminal illness can mean being confronted with a number of years of challenging health issues. As they are dealing with the illness, there will be losses, which will affect them for the rest of their earthly lives, no matter how long that will be. It is important to recognize and acknowledge that there have been losses in the past that have taken place, losses in the present that are taking place and there will be losses in the future.
As your loved one is dealing with their own losses it is important to recognize each little experience and help them to adjust their lifestyle. Sometimes the loss of independence can be devastating for anyone.
You have to do your best not to lose hope while dealing with the small everyday losses, but start each day with acceptance and encouragement for your loved one.
Every person is different and every situation is different but here are a few examples that may give someone the feeling of loss during a life threatening illness.
A feeling that you are losing relationships; the things that were always done together may not be as easy to do or may not even be possible anymore. You may experience a disconnect, as you are no longer able to do those special things together anymore.
You have to focus on the memories that have been created over the years and hold them in your heart. It is those memories that have created the bonds that can never be broken. Talk openly about these things and most of all, keep your faith.
It is natural, when we are younger and healthy, that as time goes by everyone has a specific role in their family or the community where they live. Those roles may have to change and it can be difficult to step back and relinquish, what were once your responsibilities, to someone else. As the family member or caregiver you may find yourself to be the one accepting more responsibilities.
Try to take into consideration that there is a person’s life and feelings that are being affected by this change and try to involve them in any transitions so they will still feel a part of the family and the community. No one wants to be forgotten or left behind because of something they have absolutely no control over.
Above all, it is important to relate to the person in a way appropriate to the stage of their illness, and help them through the losses that they have been experiencing, and have yet to experience.
They may have months or years to live and may even survive the illness. You have to remember to assist your loved one to continue living in a normal fashion as much as possible, even if it involves a different form of normal than you are accustomed to.
Try to be just yourself and treat them no different than you did before their illness. It is important to joke as you always have and let the relationship be the same, because it is.
Grieving our losses helps us to survive all kinds of situations and make the necessary adjustments to life changes.
The only true guideline is to find a way that makes sense to you, and ultimately provides you and your family comfort.
If you have any questions please feel free to call Ken Thompson, Mary Thompson or Vic Roberts of Heritage Funeral Homes at 519-638-3072.
