Welcome to the sexiest month of the entire calendar year.
Yes, that’s right, July has that distinction. Why? Because I said so, silly. Look it up. Surely, somewhere on the internet this can be verified, because everything on the internet is true. Or, you can just believe me because I cannot lie. I can fib, but I cannot lie.
Of all the summer months, July is the most spicy one. It sizzles with anticipation of all you can pack into the days and nights ahead. It’s the month you wish would last the longest, because it’s smack-dab in the heart of the season that nobody wants to end.
June still involves school and is often stressful for students, teachers and parents alike. Plus, let’s face it, this June we dealt with all the moods of Mother Nature.
Then there’s August, with its sweet corn and orange sunsets. That month is packed with events, including the Carpenter’s birthday, plus two of our family’s favourite events: the Fergus Scottish Festival and Highland Games and Riverfest Elora. Then there’s one solid week for me at a cottage in beautiful Bobcaygeon – and this year, I get a full week for the first time in two years. I actually get a week’s vacation for real (those with paid vacations have no idea.)
But August denotes the melancholy of the end of summer. Yep, I said it. Sure, it’s a long month, but before you know it, summer is over. Snap. It goes by in the blink of an eye. Don’t be sad. Summer is short, but July is not. You have 31 days to pack in your summer adventures. Make it count. Or don’t. You do you.
Obviously, Canada’s birthday is the pinnacle event. If you truly know our history, the good and the bad, you’ll understand that while we’re not a perfect nation, (show me one that is), this celebration reminds us that the past can fuel our future. This country isn’t broken. Our future is whatever we make of it. Let’s all paddle in the same direction and show the world what we’re made of.
Also, let’s start a petition to make July 1 a long weekend, regardless of the day it falls on. Is there anything Canadians love more than long weekends? Yes, there is, but imagine enjoying those things on a long weekend. Point made.
Sorry, but I also feel I have to remind you that July indicates it’s six months until Christmas. I heard what you just said there. Look, all I’m doing is helping you start the budget for the ridiculousness of the holiday season, and help you mentally prepare for the family negotiations of who is hosting this year. Lots of time. Let the negotiations over who is hosting this year’s event begin.
July also happens to be my birthday. I made an entrance to the world just in time to enjoy this gorgeous month, living up to my astrological sign in every way. Someone asked me recently if this birthday was a significant number, to which I replied, “every number is significant.” I’m grateful for another candle on the birthday cake (which I’ll have to order for myself, because the Carpenter won’t think of that).
So there you have it, July is the sexiest month. You’re welcome. Now go enjoy it. Make bad choices and good memories. Cheers.
