As I sit down to write this week’s article, a big old harvest moon is peeking up over the eastern tree-line and a chorus of crickets are making their presence heard along the edge of our garden.
It is things like this that I never really missed until I moved back out to the country.
I can remember well when my Little Lady and I would sit outside long after dark just to hear the sounds of the night as the darkness settled in.
My Little Lady was the religious one in our family, often seeing humour in ways that others seldom understood, so I’m sending on to you an email from my chuckle bucket, which has been sent to me from several sources, knowing well that she would enjoy it just as much as you and me.
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly gates, met by St. Peter himself. However the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, “Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.”
Forrest responds, “It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain’t too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.”
St. Peter continued, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: how many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God’s first name?”
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”
Forrest replied, “Well, the first one – which two days in the week begins with the letter T? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.”
The Saint’s eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, “Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for the answer.
“How about the next one?” asked St. Peter.
“How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,” replied Forrest. “But I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”
Astounded, St. Peter said, “Twelve? Twelve? How in Heaven’s name could you come up with 12 seconds in a year?”
Forrest replied, “Shucks, there’s got to be 12: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.”
“Hold it,” interrupts St. Peter. “I see your point, I’ll give you credit for that one too. Now the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name?”
“Sure,” Forrest replied.“It’s Andy. Shucks that was the easiest one of all, I learnt it from the song, Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, and tells me I am his own.”
My Little Lady would have got a chuckle out of that one.
Take care, ’cause we care.
barrie@barriehopkins.ca
519-986-4105