‘Unimaginable tragedy’: Mennonite pastors reflect two months after car crash that claimed lives of five children

MILVERTON – “We are really grieving,” said  Isaac Janzen. “It’s been tough.”

Janzen is the pastor at Prayer House of Milverton, where two families impacted by a devastating June 12 car crash attend church. 

Five children died in the two-vehicle collision in Mapleton: Susy, Maggie, Sara, Helena and Peter Doerksen, aged four, six, eight, 10 and 12 years old. 

Peter was an interesting boy who was always very caring towards Janzen’s three-year-old son, the pastor told the Advertiser. 

He was a lively person and took his faith seriously, Janzen added. He had made his testimony of faith, as had Helena and Sara (Maggie and Susy were too young to do so). 

The children’s younger brother, parents Judit and Cornelius, and family friends Elizabeth and Peter Bartsch were with them when their passenger van collided with an SUV at 4th Line and Wellington Road 12.

The youngest child has made a full recovery after breaking his leg in the crash. 

Judit, who suffered significant injuries, is “recovering very fast,” Janzen said, and has started to walk again. 

Cornelius is a preacher at Prayer House of Milverton and started preaching again in August. Considering what he’s going through, Janzen said he’s doing well.

Elizabeth Bartsch was also seriously injured, and doctors realized two weeks ago that her jaw was broken, Janzen said. She had surgery on it last week. 

“It seems like she is having a harder time these days emotionally – she can’t completely understand why things happened the way they did, but she’s coming along,” said Janzen. 

Peter Bartsch was conscious throughout the crash and its aftermath, and Janzen said he’s struggling with the images from that day.

“He has nightmares ...  but I think he’s coming along,” Janzen said. 

The lone occupant of the SUV, a 42-year-old Brampton man, died from his injuries eight days after the crash.

The incident is under investigation, and the community continues to grapple with the loss.

Prayer House of Milverton is holding frequent prayer meetings to gather “as a community, as a church, and try to share how we feel and how we can move on from this,” Janzen said.

“It’s an unimaginable tragedy,” said Pastor Pedro Neufeld of Lighthouse Gospel Church, a Mennonite church close to Milverton. 

Some children at Lighthouse went to school with the Doerksen children and were close friends. 

“They are taking it extremely hard,” Neufeld said. “[They’re] not saying much, but just grieving and obviously crying a lot.” 

Neufeld grew up in community with Judit’s family and was close friends with her older brother, John. 

The pastor visited the Doerksens, along with his wife and another couple from Lighthouse, about a week after Judit came home from the hospital (she had injuries to her kidney, liver and gallbladder, broken ribs and pelvic bone and extensive bruising and trauma, and needed hip surgery). 

“She wasn’t doing well,” Neufeld said. “She wasn’t comfortable sitting in a wheelchair and wasn’t comfortable lying down. So she wasn’t resting well, because of the pain.” 

The loss of her children was still very fresh, Neufeld said, so they mostly talked about church life and their upbringings at a Mennonite colony in Mexico. 

“We didn’t ask a whole lot of questions – kind of let them speak because we just wanted to give them a listening ear. And we brought them a meal for the whole family.”  

Lighthouse is one of the local churches offering support. On the day of the children’s funeral, they delivered tables and chairs.

Elmira Mennonite Church pastor Kara Carter said while “the family directly involved will have an experience of grief and trauma that will be long and hard,” the wider community will also need to take time to process and mourn. “We haven’t just moved on.” 

In her congregation, Carter said, “One thing I continue to hear is the shock. Five children. This is shocking.” 

She painted a picture of a single empty chair at a dining room table following a loss: “How do we imagine what it is like for a family when there are five empty chairs?”  

Neufeld said, “We are all reacting with shock ... it hit everyone really hard, because that’s hard to believe, that something like that would happen here locally, out on a small country road.”

Shock is part of the grieving process, as is deep sadness and a sense of personal mortality, Carter said.

Healing can come from holding and attending to grief when it emerges: “If we put it aside with busyness, or denial, it waits,” often rearing its head when the next tragedy hits.  

“We have to name the depth of our grief, and our shock and our despair.”

Carter encouraged people to talk about the children, including who they were, what they valued and loved, and what they enjoyed doing together, as it can bring comfort and healing. 

Anabaptist culture, faith

“Community is really core to our Anabaptist culture,” Carter said. 

(Anabaptists include Mennonites, Amish and Hutterites, who share values of adult baptism, non-violence, simple living and separation of church and state. It is a religious affiliation and a cultural identity.) 

“That call to take care of one another and bear one another’s burden is so central to our expression of faith,” Carter said. “It’s kind of that barn-raising culture that is so part of our DNA ... when one suffers we all suffer.”

That can mean sitting with someone in the depths of their pain, making a phone call, sending a card, showing up with food, helping out in the garden, taking care of children, offering lines of scripture or providing financial support, she said. 

Janzen said many people send cards and gift cards, and noted the Doerksens appreciate when people visit them personally. 

“As a church, we support them by bringing them food so they don’t have to cook,” he said. And when delivering it, “we stay there, and we share scripture, and pray with them together and ask them how they are doing.” 

Carter said, “Others will pray and hold them in their hearts. Some will hold their children a little closer, recognizing how fragile life is.”

Support should continue for months and years, Neufeld noted, but it sometimes fades as time passes and people move on. 

The Doerksens can’t move on “because their loss is too big ... they will have to live with this for the rest of their lives,” he said. 

Carter said Anabaptist “faith in God and gathering together strengthens us to take these hard roads together.” 

“God is present in the embrace, when tears are shed, and easy answers are not found,” as well as in the moments of joy, beauty and strength, she said.

“God is not the source of suffering, but God is present with us in the midst of our suffering. God is weeping with us.”

The Doerksens’ faith, Janzen said, is “the biggest part of how they can go through this,” especially as they know the children are in heaven. 

“It really helps cope with the loss, knowing that there is hope of being reunited with them one day,” Neufeld added. 

And the Doerksens’ and Bartschs’ personal relationships with Jesus give them strength, Janzen said.  

The best way for people to continue supporting the family, he said, is through prayer: “What they really need are prayers.” 

Lighthouse’s congregation continues to pray for strength, encouragement and physical and emotional healing for the Doerksens and Bartschs, and Neufeld encouraged the families to stay connected with the church and call anytime. 

“We are more than willing and also capable of providing them with any needs they might have,” Neufeld said.  He plans to visit both families soon.

“I want to be very sensitive to them, not just expect them to be strong again and just carry on: we need to love on them and care for them.”

The families have “very solid leadership” at their own church, as well as its sister churches, and are receiving support through those channels, Neufeld added.  

The Doerksen family has been part of Prayer House of Milverton since it formed in 2018, with about 15 couples. There are now about 43 couples who are officially members, as well as about the same number who are not yet members, Janzen said. 

Its sister churches include four other Prayer Houses in Ontario as well as two in Manitoba, two in Alberta and one in Saskatchewan. 

“So they have a lot of support that they are getting from all around,” Janzen said. 

Community care is not unique to Anabaptists, Carter said, “It’s part of what it is to be human. We hurt for one another – feel one another’s pain.” 

Anyone struggling with the loss of the Doerksen children or with other grief or tragedy can contact Victim Services at vswguelph.on.ca; Waterloo-Wellington Bereavement Support Services at tinyurl.com/wwbereavement or Woolwich Counselling Services at woolwichcounselling.org.