Christmas is not about the presents. Parents say this all the time. It’s the phrase we say right before we thrust a pen and paper into our children’s hands, plunk down a stack of flyers and the Christmas Wish Book and say, “now make a list for Santa.” But don’t be greedy. Don’t expect too much. You won’t get everything you ask for. Hurry up.
We’re our own worst enemies. So years ago, the Carpenter and I decided to nip this Christmas insanity in the bud. We told our two children that their Christmas list could only be three wish items. They had to pick the three things that were their heart’s desire. We explained that Santa would pick the best one. That left two options for the parents and grandparents to shop. The number three was not random. If it was good enough for Baby Jesus to get three gifts, it was good enough for us (that’s not actually the reason we chose three, but when we tell the story of Christmas, it sure helps make the three gifts seem grounded in a proper principle and not financial reality).
It worked, until Hot Wheels were replaced by hot deals on gidgets and gadgets. Our children want to keep up with their classmates’ video games, laptops, digital cameras and iPod things. I had to get two jobs to get half of that stuff, and I actually need them to do my job. Such is the way of their world.
Smart kids that they are, they reminded me that in previous years, they got more than three presents. “Ah yes,” I say, “but you did not expect those things. Gifts are not about expectation. Never assume you will receive more. If you start asking for more than three, you will get less. Be careful.” That’s right, I’m Grinch Mommy.
When they wrote their lists for Christmas 2010, the children remembered my dire warning. My daughter’s note was simple and concise. Her younger brother was very serious in his format, and seemed to be taking a good deal longer to get his three wishes on paper. I was worried. His note had a secret P.S. for Santa that I was instructed not to read.
Here is my guilty confession: after bedtime I read the letter. My son’s P.S. was for me. He knew I was having car problems and couldn’t replace my vehicle. He asked Santa to please bring me a 2008 Grand Caravan. Now, before you go thinking that’s so sweet, let’s be clear, he saw on the commercial that these vans have lots of room for him, his buddies and hockey gear. There is a television, bucket seats and a table in back. Just what every kid needs.
As if driving a station wagon for 10 years wasn’t enough of a blow to my ego, now my son was embarrassed too? What, the old fashioned roll down windows and rust accessories aren’t cool?
After the shock of thinking I wanted a van, instead of a convertible, I was baffled that he felt a 2008 was a good choice. Did he not know Mommy wants a brand new car or nothing (hence the “nothing”).
But here is the best part of the story: he asked Santa to say that the van was a gift from him. Aw shucks. Three wishes for himself and one wish for his Mom. This kid is smooth, real smooth. Pay attention, Santa. Give him whatever he wants.