Questionable employees

Gleaned from the Ottawa Citizen and sent on to me through the magic of email is the following:

“Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 300 employees and has the following statistics?

– 30 have been accused of spousal abuse.

 – nine have been arrested for fraud.

– 14 have been accused of writing bad cheques.

– 95 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least two businesses.

– four have done time for assault.

– 55 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit.

– 12 have been arrested on drug-related charges.

– four have been arrested for shoplifting.

– 16 are currently defendants in lawsuits.

– 62 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Can you guess which organization this is?

It is the 301 MPs in the Canadian parliament.

The same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of us in line.”

The truth sometimes hurts doesn’t it? Especially when it surfaces in a country like Canada that prides itself on being a world leader. Is it not time that we do a little housecleaning in Ottawa?

Also from the depths of my chuckle bucket comes this slightly rumpled oldie, yet it contains much more truth than fiction.

After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, “Let me see if I’ve got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behaviour, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages and instill in them a love for learning.

“You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases and raise their sense of self-esteem and personal pride.

“You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play and how to register to vote, balance a cheque book, and  apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behaviour, and make sure that they pass the provincial exams.

“You want me to provide them with an equal education, regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card.

“You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for social assistance.

“You want me to do all this and then you tell me I can’t pray?

Take care, ‘cause we care.



Barrie Hopkins