WELLINGTON COUNTY – The holiday season can be filled with joy, laughter and love, but for some it can also be isolating, depressing and include pressures that negatively impact their mental health.
“People struggle all through the year, there’s no doubt about it,” said Helen Fishburn, CEO of the Canadian Mental Health Association Waterloo-Wellington (CMHA).
“But in the holiday season a couple of things happen.”
Fishburn noted for some, seasonal affective disorder can kick in due to shorter days and less sunshine.
“The second thing is there are always a lot of expectations around the holiday season that put additional pressure on people to be joyful,” Fishburn said.
This season tends to be painted as a time of families coming together, gift giving and blessings.
“But it’s also a reminder to a lot of people that don’t have those blessings,” Fishburn explained.
“It pushes them deeper into feelings of anxiety, depression and stress.”
Financial pressures can be highlighted during this time as many don’t have the means to buy gifts.
“There isn’t always a happy ending,” Fishburn said.
Then there are people who regularly struggle with mental health and addiction issues, which can get exasperated during the holiday season.
Asked if the CMHA sees an increase in demand around Christmas, Fishburn said, “The simple answer to that is yes.”
“We definitely see more people who are calling because they feel alone, they are isolated and feeling overwhelmed with sadness or loss,” she continued.
Practical tips from Fishburn to support mental health and well-being during the holidays include:
- telling someone how much they mean to you. Expressing gratitude costs nothing but means everything she said;
- set boundaries and manage expectations. It’s okay to say “no” even with family and prioritize what matters most;
- avoid overindulging in seasonal treats. Keep balance and moderation in mind;
- moving your body can reduce stress hormones like cortisol; and
- stay connected and give back. Reach out to family and friends, check on someone who might need support or volunteer time to make a difference in the community.
Grief over the holidays
Another raw emotion felt during the holidays is grief.
“Grief itself is a lot of work and takes a tremendous amount of … energy,” said Melina Pearson, Bereaved Families of Ontario Midwestern Region (BFO) executive director.
“Sometimes even getting out of bed, getting dressed and doing your basic day-to-day activities is a lot. Now throw in the holidays and think about shopping, gifting, decorating, cooking, giving thanks and being happy.”
Pearson noted people dealing with grief tend to be more aware a loved one is missing during the festive season. And those who show happiness on the outside tend to feel guilty on the inside.
“You can be grieving and experience joy … they can coexist at the same time,” Pearson said.
To combat feeling guilty people can instead acknowledge and honour the emotions, she advised.
Pearson also noted an increase in clients registering for the organization’s grief support programs, educational sessions and peer support.
“We start to see [an increase] from October to December and then again in January after the holidays,” she said.
Pearson offered some tips for those experiencing loss this holiday season:
- allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling;
- don’t place any expectations on yourself;
- find time to designate a space to honour the loss;
- allow a grieving person to share however much or little they want; and
- don’t be afraid to say the name of the deceased loved one.
“I always encourage people to say the person’s name,” Pearson said. “We have to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
More tips and resources can be found at bfomidwest.org. BFO also has a 24/7 crisis line: 1-844-437-3247.
CMHA services are open 24/7 even on Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
Fishburn noted a national crisis service line, which can be accessed by calling or texting 988.
