‘The power of the tongue’
“Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth” (Proverbs 26:20).
We are wise not to speak when we don’t have all the facts. Gossiping gives no grace and only gives us a false sense of importance when in fact it is a futile exercise.
“He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips” (Proverbs 20:19).
When it comes to slanderers, Proverbs 20:19 gives us wise instruction: Steer clear, avoid sharing sensitive information and be smart. Let’s call gossiping out for what it is – evil (James 3:8).
I don’t think I am alone in learning the hard way that no good comes from speaking when we don’t have all the facts.
While we can apologize for what we say, we can’t take it back, and so it is critically important that we think before we speak. Way easier said than done, right?
The temptation to respond quickly, be included in the conversation, or to talk about someone behind their back is very real, because, as C.S. Lewis wrote in his book God in the Dock, “The absent are easily refuted.”
It may be of some comfort to know that we are not the first generation to be faced with this challenge; there are so many examples of the consequences of the tongue that we are provided throughout scripture. David wrote in Psalm 101:5, “Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer”.
Our speech often reveals our pride, and unfortunately, to boost their self-importance, some people purposely speak lies about others and put them down.
Matthew Henry wrote, “Many endeavour to raise themselves into the favour of princes by unjust representations of persons and things, which they think will please their prince.” There is a reason that “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exodus 20:16) is included as one of the 10 commandments.
Conversely, when we are the target of gossip and slander, we must be equally as careful to guard our tongues. We need to watch what we say when we’re hurt or angry.
Solomon wrote, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). We know what keeps the peace (and it’s not speaking when we’re angry).
The trouble is, it’s upsetting when someone calls our character into question.
It is when we are overly emotional that we endanger ourselves and can lose control of our tongues. It is a characteristic of the wise to hold the tongue in the heat of anger – “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression” (Proverbs 19:1) – and even more a demonstration of wisdom to overlook an offense. Rather than react without thinking, we ought as Matthew Henry wrote, “Give it time, and it will cool”.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof” (Proverbs 18:21). The fruit of our tongues will either be sweet or it will be sour, and we can’t have it both ways.
Matthew Henry wrote, “Many a one has been his own death by a foul tongue, or the death or others by a false tongue; and on the contrary, many a one has saved his own life, or procured the comfort of it, by a prudent gentle tongue, and saved the lives of others by a seasonable testimony or intercession for them.”