When people think of those involved in North Wellington’s Big Brothers Big Sisters, Marnie Mainland’s name is at the top of the list.
And it’s more than likely that when the annual Bowl For Kids Sake at the Mount Forest Bowling Lanes starts this weekend, she’ll be there busily working behind the scenes making certain the event runs smoothly.
Next year marks the 25th anniversary of North Wellington’s event, which started here in 1986 – and Mainland has been there since the beginning.
She said that in the first year, the event raised just over $1,000 and was held in bowling lanes in Listowel, Fergus and Mount Forest. Now the event is hosted completely by the Mount Forest Bowling Lanes and this year’s target goal is $60,000.
When asked about when she first became involved with Big Brothers she said, “… way, way back.” She first started with the organization in 1983, and has witnessed many changes to the organization over the years.
Originally, she was hired as a part-time case worker of the Arthur office.
“They hired me, and the following year Mount Forest came on board, followed by Harriston/Palmerston,” she said. “It was a situation where the other organizations asked, ‘can we use you as a case worker too?’
“During that time, we were a satellite of Guelph. It was in October 2004 we started the merge with Big Sisters and since then we’ve been here (Mount Forest).
“I had started my career at Children’s Aid way, way back, right out of school. Then, I went home to have our children.
“I was just looking for something very part-time and they were looking for a part-time case worker in Arthur. I thought it would be ideal … just a few hours a week.”
She felt it would be a perfect fit for her home life with two little boys and a baby girl. But it’s something that ended up being much more than that.
It’s clear from the enthusiasm in her voice this is a job she still loves.
Known as Big Brothers Big Sisters of North Wellington, the organization is located at 110 Wellington St. E. in Mount Forest.
Mainland noted one of the major changes was the group’s joining with Big Sisters of Mount Forest and Area back in 2004.
“We’d been encouraged by the national office to do that, but there was a lot of resistance,” she said. “It was a trying time, but it has worked out well. There’s every bit as much a need for little girls as little boys.”
She added, “I think it’s so important for the little guys since so many are being raised without men in their lives. It is a terrible situation and we are finding it more and more difficult to find Big Brothers.”
This has led to offering some the option of the in-school mentoring program to augment that.
“But you know the same problems existed years back … trying to come up with enough money. In a non-profit organization, that is one of the big things.
“That is where Bowl for Kids Sake come in,” she said. “We have to raise primarily all of our budget through that fundraiser.”
At the same time, Mainland noted there are some funds – about $19,000 – which annually come through the local United Way, which is very helpful.
She said the organization has definitely grown through the years and those using the service and those acting as Big Brothers come from a wide variety of backgrounds.
“It’s because all of our kids are so different,” she said. “I often say when I’m interviewing a prospective Big Brother, there is no right or wrong answer, because there is such a variety of children needing the service.
“When I look at the children’s needs and then I look at the Big Brothers I have available, there’s never enough. I try to look at the child, how he was raised and what he likes to do … and work that around with the Big Brother.
“We have labourers, we have professionals … you name it … we use them. If they want to volunteer, we can certainly find something for them without any trouble.”
She added there is a thorough screening of volunteers through a police check, references and then an in-home, additional interview, plus a follow-up.
“We’re always in touch with the mother, the Little Brother and the Big Brother to make sure things are going well, and that we’re not missing anything,” she said.
A Little Brother’s
perspective
Twelve-year-old Dexter Schoutsen has been a Little Brother since he was eight years old.
His current Big Brother, Joseph Clark, is actually his third.
“My first Big Brother, Brian … he was good, but he had to move away to where his job was,” said Dexter.
“I got a new Big Brother, Josh, but his work sort of interfered too. He was working as a fireman and was accepted for a position in Sault Ste. Marie. Now I have Joseph, who lives just outside of Mount Forest.”
While Joseph works across Canada, this area is his home.
“He comes home to Holstein,” Mainland added. Clark teaches and sells computer software to school boards across the country.
Dexter described it as “he teaches the school boards, the school boards teach the teachers, the teachers teach the students and we teach our grandparents.”
Generally there are activities with his Big Brother once a week, but Dexter said if there is not enough time in their schedules it might be three times per month.
The pair have used four-wheelers, hang out at the house, help with Joseph’s own children, build items and cut firewood. Dexter believes its a good experience.
“I think if I didn’t have a Big Brother, I wouldn’t have been able to experience some of the things I have been able to do,” he said.
At one point he was invited by his Big Brother to go into the woods with some of Joseph’s adult friends.
Dexter also had no problem recommending the program and would consider being a Big Brother at some point in the future.
“It’s important being able to have someone to hang out with who cares and wants to actually be there,” he said.
“With people who don’t have a father, there are some things they won’t experience. With Big Brothers Big Sisters, it allows someone to have that experience.”
When he met his first Big Brother, “I wondered what my Big Brother would want to do, but it really depends on what you want to do. It’s the Little Brother’s decision (as to the type of activities they do together). That’s what makes it fun.”
Dexter’s mother, Tracy Schoutsen, said “it is good for him to have the male influence I can’t give him. He can go and do stuff with a man, which means something to him.”
Mainland added for Dexter, the hard thing was the long wait. It was two-and-a-half years waiting for the first match.
Tracy said her mistake was that while Dexter qualified at age 6, she’d waited until she felt he was ready to have a Big Brother.
“I should have signed him up right away, because by the time they found a Big Brother, he would have been ready.”
Mainland said that perhaps that is something which should be included in information packages.
“Just because they are approved and on board, if they are no ready … we can hold off.”
Tracy added even though Dexter didn’t have a Big Brother, they were still able to participate in the various group activities offered.
“Pretty much there is an activity every month or every other month,” she said.
Plus, she added, both Dexter and his sister have been going to summer camp for the past five years as a result of the group’s assistance.
“I pay a small portion and Big Brothers pays the rest. I could have never afforded to send both my kids to camp if it wasn’t for Big Brothers.
“And that is why we are involved in Bowl for Kids. It’s our way of paying back. That’s the way I look at it.”
“And do they pay back,” Mainland added. “One year, Dexter raised over $1,000.”
Tracy added the first year Dexter raised $420, the next year $501, the third year $1,047 and last year $621. She said they were still working to raise funds for this year’s event.
Mainland said one thing she wants to emphasize is “our society is at a very crucial time, with so many boys having no male influence in their lives whatsoever. Our society’s boys are being raised by wonderful moms, they just simply don’t have men in their lives.
“We just have to turn this around for the kids,” she said. “They’re going to be fathers someday, and how are they going to do that without a role model?
“It is crucial that we be able to encourage men, and that this is not an onerous task. It does take commitment, and yes, there is a thorough screening. But once they get through that and once they are on board, all agreed that they are getting far more out of it than the Little Brother.
“Across the board, that is how people feel.”
Mainland explained statistics show that if Little Brothers have a mentor, chances of them turning out better are very high. She said their grades tend to be higher and 80% graduate from high school. They get along better at home, and are only half as likely to use drugs, Mainland added. They also tend to get along better with their peers and to be less involved with the police, she said.
This year’s North?Wellington Bowl for Kids Sake runs Feb. 21, Feb. 28 and March 7.
Through the weeks, there are also school challenges. Those started last year with Arthur Public School and Palmerston Public School. This year, both schools will be bringing two bus loads of participants.
“That’s very exciting,” Mainland said.
As of the interview, she was still waiting to hear from Minto-Clifford Public School.
For $10, they get bussed to the bowling lanes, free bowling shoes, a book and a pin that says ‘today I helped a fellow human being.”
For more information about the group contact www.bbbs-northwellington.org or www.bbbsc.ca.
History of Big Brothers Big Sisters of North Wellington
The Guelph and Wellington Big Brothers Association was started in 1968. Richard Chaloner, then crown attorney, and Bill Chapman were co-founders of the organization.
Local committees were established in?Wellington County under the umbrella of Guelph and Wellington Big Brothers as it was thought this gave better services, with a more local flavour.
The Arthur chapter began in 1974, Harriston/Palmerston in 1976 and Mount Forest in 1978. In 2000, these groups formed one committee known as North Wellington.
In 1980, a group of local women saw a need in the community for young girls and formed Big Sisters of Mount Forest. Area municipalities with similar needs, including Durham, Harriston, Clifford, Palmerston, Drayton, Moorefield, Arthur and everywhere in between, called upon this service. In 1987, the organization incorporated as Big Sisters of Mount Forest and District.
By 2000, many Big Brothers Big Sisters organizations had merged and talks in this direction began locally as well.
It was felt Wellington communities would be best served by three groups: Big Brothers Big Sisters Guelph, Big Brothers Big Sisters Centre Wellington and Big Brothers Big Sisters North Wellington.
By October 2004, Big Brothers of North Wellington and Big Sisters of Mount Forest and District began to function as a joint agency, and by September 2005, became legally known as Big Brothers Big Sisters of North Wellington.
A Big Brother’s view
Dexter Schoutsen’s Big Brother, Joseph Clark, was unable to meet for the group interview because of previous commitments. However, through email, Clark did offer his thoughts on being a Big Brother.
Why did you decide to become a Big Brother?
I became a Big Brother because it was a way that I could give my time to a noble endeavour and still include my family.
Is it challenging to find the time to be with your Little Brother and how do you sort all that out?
Sometimes. However, if you have a good understanding between the Little, their parent and yourself about your time limitations, then there is no reason why you cannot cooperatively organize times and visits.
Do you enjoy being a Big Brother and what sorts of things do you do together?
Very much. We go skating, play paint ball, hike, bicycle and work at projects at my farm such as building climbing apparatus or cutting wood.
What would you say to other men who are thinking about becoming a Big Brother?
I would say it is a very rewarding experience and they will gain much satisfaction, as well as learn much about themselves by including an important youth in their life.
Caseworker Marnie Mainland noted Joseph is a professional and he has four children of his own.
“So when he came to me, right away I wondered how this person could possibly have time,” she said. But, she added he’s just a very organized person and his wife is home full-time, keeping the home fires burning.
“Even though he travels all across Canada … when he’s home, he’s home completely. His office is at his home.” She said unless he is out of the province, he sees Dexter weekly.
“Sometimes he includes their children, but has specific alone times as well. It has just worked out so nicely for Dexter.”
For Joseph, the experience is very rewarding. “It’s my relaxing time, when I can be a kid,” he says.
Fast facts about Big Brothers Big Sisters
Goal: Everyone who needs a mentor, gets a mentor.
Mission: To provide quality mentoring to children living in single parent homes or homes where there are two parents, but circumstances are such that additional support is necessary for quality of life.
Programs:
One-to-one matches; ISM (in-school mentoring); and, group activities.
Major challenge: Finding adequate male volunteers.
