September marks the 100th anniversary in Canada of Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS), which has created a legacy of mentorship and friendship for generations of Canadian children.
And if the past is any indication of the power of this program, the future is surely bright.
Marianne Christie, executive director of BBBS of North Wellington, says, “Once it is truly a part of your life, to be a Big Sister or Big Brother, it’s so easy to make such a huge difference in a child’s life. If everybody would just do it once in their lives, it would really make a big difference in the world.”
She should know. Christie has been a case worker with the Mount Forest agency for 19 years, coordinating in-school mentor programs and Big-Little matches between children aged six to 17 and adult volunteers in a coverage area that includes Drayton, Moorefield, Harriston, Clifford, Palmerston, Arthur, Alma, Conn and Mount Forest.
“And everywhere in between,” said Christie.
Inspired by the reward of coordinating more than 10 years worth of one-on-one matches, Christie herself became a Big Sister volunteer seven years ago.
“Watching all this success, I wanted to give back as well. I contacted a neighbouring Big Brothers Big Sisters agency and I was matched to my own Sister. It will be seven years with my Little Sister Sydney now,” Christie said.
“I did this though I have a career, children of my own, a business with my husband and a large extended family. Sydney is now 16 years old and every day she amazes me with her confidence and sincerity towards others … so I know we’ll be friends for life.”
This kind of remarkable experience is what makes Jane Cooper, executive director of BBBS Centre Wellington, so committed to her work. She’s been part of the agency for 25 years, putting together Big-Little matches and helping to build the in-school mentoring programs.
“When I look back over the years, the joy I’ve seen and the friendships I’ve seen created in the children, the Big Brothers and Big Sisters, mentors and the parents of these children, it’s pure joy,” Cooper said.
Christie and Cooper were part of the amalgamation in 2002, when the Big Brothers of Guelph and Wellington County Association, co-founded in 1968 by Bill Chapman and then Crown attorney Richard Chaloner, merged with the Fergus-Elora Big Sisters Association.
Then, three regionally-centered agencies were formed, including BBBS Guelph, BBBS of Centre Wellington and BBBS of North Wellington.
Today the North Wellington chapter, which is funded by the United Way and by fundraising and individual donors, has 18 Big/Little matches. It has a waiting list for 10 children hoping for a Big Sister or Brother.
“Right now our high need is for Big Brothers and Sisters in Mount Forest, but it is important to note this changes all the time… we do need more Bigs in all areas,” Christie said.
In Centre Wellington, where BBBS operates solely on fundraising efforts, grants and donors, there are 14 active one-on-one matches, 11 of which are Big Sister matches. Twenty more children are on waiting lists.
“We have so many kids who are waiting for Bigs, and that’s why it is so hard to make them wait,” Christie said.
“Our Littles are children who have had an unforeseen circumstance or situation happen in their life or family … so for example that could be a divorce, a death, an accident or health issue related to one of their parents or a family member where they can benefit from the support or friendship from an adult mentor to help them build their self-worth and self-esteem. Having that extra friendship or adult mentor fills that void.”
The need is as great as the diversity of the children who want to become a Little Brother or Sister.
“Our criteria is based on the need of a child or the family,” Cooper said. “Children don’t have to be from single parent families or be without a parent.”
Children come to the program because parents or grandparents need the extra support, or because other families that have benefited from BBBS programs recommend it.
“You’ve got to pat the parent on the back for trusting our agency, for trusting another adult in their child’s life … that is giving such a gift,” Christie said, of the parents who register a child with BBBS.
“To know that family understands that ‘hey, I can’t do it on my own, and I need some extra help,’ and to have them turn to our agency and trust us is amazing.”
Sometimes children are recommended for the program by agencies like Family and Children’s Services, the Canadian Mental Health Association or the Community Resource Centre, or by teachers and child youth workers within the school system.
Paramount to the process is a child’s safety.
“We are one of the top-notch agencies known for our screening process and training and it has developed over the years to be number one,” Christie said. “Other companies and agencies go to BBBS of Canada for advice.”
Despite what many think, being a Big Brother or Sister is not a huge time commitment or an added expense.
“Bigs who volunteer are very busy people, but some Bigs look at their match with their Littles as down time. Being with a child who truly appreciates their time and interests with them is relaxing and easy. They get together for a few hours a week doing what friends do and that’s usually just having fun,” Christie said.
“They are with a child that really respects them and appreciates their time, and it’s easy.”
Cooper, who noted one-on-one time in a match is flexible, said, “We ask for a one year commitment. We ask for regular, consistent contact. Consistency is very important so that it is predictable for the child.”
Matches are made with consideration for both the abilities and comfort of the volunteer and the needs of the child. Factoring in issues such as personality, compatibility and interests, volunteers, who must be 18 years old or older, are given a choice of the age range of their Little to ensure they can offer the guidance and support the child requires.
Cooper said the main question is, “What can a Big cope with in terms of a child’s needs?”
Bigs and Littles share in all kinds of activities from baking, Sports, going to parks and hiking, to projects like carpentry, art, quilting or learning to do a spring tune-up on a child’s bike before a ride.
“It doesn’t have to be hard,” Cooper said, noting the goal is to share activities that are “low cost or no cost.” The investment, she points out, is about quality time.
“It’s fun. You have the opportunity to be a kid again. You can have a chance to make a positive impact on a child’s life,” Cooper said. “Just chatting and hanging out is great.”
Christie agrees. “The Littles appreciate the Bigs as much as the Bigs want the very best for their Little and that’s all we can hope for,” she said.
Joan Cuming, of Fergus, is a retired book-keeper who became a Big Sister last October to nine-year-old Bailey Sabila. Despite the years between them, the void is filled with a friendship that is evident when anyone sees them together.
“My daughter was a Big Sister when she lived at home,” Cuming said. “I don’t have any grandchildren around here, so my daughter thought it would be a good solution for me and it has been.”
Cuming said the time shared with Bailey varies.
“It’s just whatever we think of … We work well together. Bailey is very easy to get along with. We just have fun,” Cuming said. “There is no time limit to do what we do. It just gets done.”
Bailey enjoys the break from her home routine and the new things she’s learning.
“I like to help cook, paint, and I like to sew a lot. And I get away from my brothers and sisters,” she says smiling.
Bailey’s mother Kim Sabila, is a single mother of three who admires the relationship that Cuming and her daughter have fostered through BBBS Centre Wellington.
“It’s been a blessing for her to be with Joan,” Kim said, noting another adult in her eldest child’s life offers Bailey a confidante and a role model. It’s also been a good support for Kim, who admits it is a challenge to divide her time between her children.
“It’s special for Bailey. It’s fun time devoted just to her. There’s no competition. It’s a stress break from the everyday things.”
Of the match, Kim says, “They just hit it off and had a natural bond right away,” adding, “It immediately gave Bailey a connection to the community. She looks forward to her time with Joan and reminds me when it’s time to see her again.”
For Christie, this is a good example of what the BBBS mandate is all about.
“What makes a child’s self-confidence and self worth boom is that consistent relationship with a person, building that trust,” she said.
For Cooper, that is job satisfaction at its best.
“The best day in my job is the day I make a match,” she said. “I just love that day. It makes it all worthwhile.”
For more information on BBBS of North Wellington visit www.bbbsnorthwellington.org or call 519-323-4273. For BBBS of Centre Wellington visit www.bigbrothersbigsisters.ca/centrewellington or call 519-787-0106.
Origin of BBBS
The movement began in 1904, when a New York City court clerk named Ernest Coulter became concerned about the number of boys coming through his courtroom. In the belief that caring adults could help many youngsters stay out of trouble, he set out to find volunteers. That marked the beginning of the Big Brothers movement.
Around the same time, a group called Ladies of Charity were befriending girls who had come through the New York Children’s Court. That group later became Catholic Big Sisters.
In 1912, the first Canadian Big Sister agency formed in Toronto and one year later the first Canadian Big Brother program began in the city.
Today there are over 120 agencies across Canada providing support to about 1,000 communities.
