March break

Here me out: March break for grown-ups should be compulsory. Adulting is hard enough. It’s even more challenging in our current fiscal, political and overall cranky climate now, so imagine how much happier we would be as a society if we all got to take a March break. 

With pay, obviously. Right? We can argue about that later, as I recognize some employers will not enjoy this concept, and surely their accountants won’t either. Those are all minor details (cough) to be sorted out later, but first let’s all tap into our inner-child memories of the absolute joy of getting a whole week off school – only in this case, it would be work. Remember that feeling? Yeah, you do. Happiness.  

That’s when, if we were lucky, our vacations were paid for by the adults. Hands up if your dad’s love of golf secured you the occasional trip to Myrtle Beach? Me too. Good times. Since adulthood, I haven’t had many vacations because of the whole pay-your-own-way thing. Ugh. Adulthood, am I right?

We didn’t have March break camps when I was a kid, only summer camps. If you didn’t have travel plans in March, your parents left you unsupervised in your home for the whole day, every day, with unlimited access to things that could kill you, like scissors, a stove, matches. Nobody worried about you, though. Entertainment? UHF television channels. You want Alphagetti for lunch? Learn how to use the stove, and for the love of Pete, don’t burn the house down. Seriously. Those were the rules. 

Mostly, your goal was in fact to not burn the house down, and do anything to prevent boredom. Oh, and don’t answer the door for strangers. Deal. But what if they’re selling chocolate covered almonds? Because unsupervised kids need chocolate. 

Believe it or not, people of my generation were a lot happier then than most of my peers appear to be now. Most of them get paid vacation too. It’s not enough. Imagine if March break was added to that time-off schedule. I’m self-employed, so I would literally bounce my mortgage if I lost a week’s wages. I see the pitfalls there. I get it. My financial advisor is shaking his head. But for now, conceptually speaking, let a girl dream, will ya?

Hey, I’ll even trade in that Family Day statutory holiday long-weekend. It was a made-up holiday anyway. But March break? That is a legacy holiday ingrained in us from childhood. Imagine what reinstating that would do to our mental health. The joy. The fun. A week to be left to our own devices – but like, without devices even (because your boss would surely text or email you and nobody needs that).

I volunteer to test-market this idea. We’ll call it research. Give me March break off this year (paid) and I’ll report back. Seven days to figure out how to feel bored, and then remember how glorious it is to be bored and then do something amazingly creative to get over it. 

I don’t even need a beach, ocean, pool or flight to a fancy destination. I mean, I won’t turn it down, but for the purposes of this assignment, I’ll happily just enjoy March break for the sake of proving, on behalf of you all, how much happier society would be. Take one for the team, ya know? Think on it. Get back to me before Friday, okay?