Break it down

It would have been 20-plus years ago that an old reporter made the pitch that our systems are broken – irreparably.

Poser lass

I am not Scottish (apologies, naturally) and I’m not sure I can identify as a lass any longer either, but this weekend I will be among the masses celebrating the 80th anniversary of the Fergus Scottish Festival and Highland Games. Proudly so.

Bangs

I am not saying my husband, the Carpenter, isn’t observant, but if I were to suddenly have a third eye appear in the centre of my forehead, with gaudy blue eyeshadow and one giant fake eyelash blinking directly at him, he still wouldn’t notice something was amiss.