Bullying, anti- Black racism topics of Guelph high school assemblies

GUELPH – High school students at Bishop Macdonell and St. James Catholic high schools gathered for assemblies on bullying and anti-Black racism on Feb. 12. 

They heard from guest speaker Neskens Jr.  Dorcelus, who was born in Haiti and shared details of his childhood. A month after his mother died when he was 11 years old, he survived a devastating earthquake. 

Immigrating to Canada was not the end of Dorcelus’ troubles; he experienced significant bullying and racism throughout elementary and high school –things he did not expect to face here.

Students were cruel about his nose, with one student even creating a Snapchat filter based on its size and shape, which spread through the school like wildfire. 

Docelus said getting bullied by one person is bad enough, but “it’s another level of humiliation” when everyone joins in. 

“‘Neskens, you are the joke of the day,’” he was told by a classmate. 

But it was a message from a teacher that helped inspire him to take control. 

She said no matter how the school addressed the ongoing bullying, there was no way to put an absolute stop to it. 

“‘The way you respond to the things you cannot control will help you to be the hero of your story,’” she told him. 

Dorcelus called on all the students to strive to be the hero of their own stories – and of others’ stories, too. 

“Learn to defend others,” he said. “Your contributions help keep your school a safe and loving environment.”  

He asked students to make him a promise, and their voices sung out in unison: “I will call bullying by its name.” 

He challenged them to push back against the idea that “snitches get stitches” and to stop staying silent when they see their peers being abused. 

“When you see xenophobia, homophobia – you have to call it by its name,” he said. 

He encouraged students not to engage in conflict online, as “the internet is not the battleground where you are going to win ... By the time you are done defending yourself ... you start feeling like you are worthless.” 

Dorcelus also touched on the dangers of human trafficking, which often starts with young people connecting with strangers online. 

He got the students to join in another chorus, saying: “the internet is undefeated.”  

Dorcelus encouraged the teens to have empathy for bullies, as bullying is a sign of weakness: “if you have to put someone down to feel better about yourself, that is not strength.” 

Learning to accept and release anger is essential, he said, to avoid lashing out “at yourself or other people.” 

He said holding on to anger makes people more prejudiced.

Dorcelus’ struggles didn’t stay within the walls of the school: he also faced racism in workplaces. He reflected on a moment when he was working in retail and a small child made a racist comment about him to her father. 

He wondered how someone who didn’t know him could believe he was so inferior to them, and then instill that belief in a little girl.  

“I cannot hold the anger and belief that just because two or more people treated me that way ... that’s how everybody will treat me,” he said. 

He shared a story of an act of kindness that will always stick with him. 

Dorcelus used to hide in the bathroom to avoid being around his peers, until one day another student, a hockey player, invited him to sit and eat with him at lunch. 

Dorcelus was new to Canada and struggled to speak English, so this student made an effort to speak French. 

A decade later, Dorcelus returned to that school to do an anti-bullying presentation, and when he saw that student, now working at the school as a gym teacher, the memory of how he’d made him feel was clear.  

Dorcelus encouraged the students to ask for help when they need it, assuring them “asking for help is not a sign of weakness.” That includes professional help from therapists or psychiatrists as well as support from family and friends. 

Loved ones want to help, he said, and it’s heartbreaking to find out someone you care about needed support that you could have offered, if only you had known. 

Dorcelus highlighted  qualities of a good leader, noting leadership is not about power or force but about “the ability to influence those around you and leave them better than you found them.” 

He lauded iconic leaders including civil rights activist Viola Desmond, baseball player Jackie Robinson and  hockey player Larry Kwong. 

These leaders opened doors for those who came after them. Desmond pushed back against racial segregation in Nova Scotia, Robinson was the first Black Major League Baseball player and Kwong was the first player of Asian descent in the NHL. 

Dorcelus reflected on conflicts between minority groups and said: “we may have differences but most of us have common challenges.” 

He said differences and diversity are beautiful things that should be embraced.  

And the challenges one faces in life can be key to figuring out their purpose, Dorcelus said, noting if it weren’t for his struggles in school, he wouldn’t be making the impact he is now as a motivational speaker. 

“I need you to remember that you are not a mistake. You are not here by accident,” he said. “You are enough, just as you are.”