Dear Editor:
RE: Big brother nanny state, April 30.
As soon as I finished reading Janice Kaikkonen’s letter, I phoned the Chief Persecuting Officer, Christian Division, to lodge a complaint.
Surely, I said, in a time of pandemic with a deadly virus threatening every single citizen in Ontario, it is only common sense – not to mention logic and common decency – to shut down congregations of all kinds. But that just won’t do for some malcontents with severe persecution complexes.
So, I suggested, we might borrow a few lions from African Lion Safari and make use of SkyDome, which is sitting idle for the moment. Can you imagine how green with envy those pagan Romans would be at the retractable roof and air conditioning? (And to maintain social distancing we could fill only every third seat, but even then that would be quite the spectacle.)
When the Chief Persecuting Officer, Christian Division, reminded me that his government was only trying to protect the public’s health by outlawing gatherings of all sorts, I fired back with a reminder of what those same pagan Romans did on the Via Appia (6,000 at one time, I believe, even if a bit BC). But the Chief thought that might be too distracting to the commuters whizzing by on the QEW or 401.
You mean then that the Christians will have to be satisfied with the knowledge that they are just like every other individual and group in a time of crisis, I asked. What about the Elect? The Chosen? The Blessed?
The Chief Persecuting Officer, Christian Division, ended our conversation by saying that he was very sorry but, for the moment, the welfare of all Ontarians (even all Canadians) trumped martyrdom of all sorts. I groaned at the pun and hung up.
Richard Giles,
Alma