“˜Death cafe”™ comes to Rockwood

Wellington County is set to have its first “death cafe.”

On April 15, participants will sit down together at the Older Adult Centre in the Rockwood library, and talk about death.     

“It’s an open event so anybody can come who [is] interested and who [is] wanting to talk about death,” said cafe organizer Marion Willms.

“It’s a two-hour framed conversation that people can just talk about what they want to talk about – about death.”

Though this is the first cafe in the county, the movement has been growing steadily for the last few years, Willms said. The first occurred in England in September 2011. Now there are over 1,700 events globally.

At cafes she has attended in Georgetown and Toronto, Willms said she learned there are generally three categories of people who attend the event: those who are facing death themselves those who have recently lost a loved one and are going through the grieving process, and those who are just curious about death.

She said the cafes are really open to anyone.

The session usually begins with Willms reading a quote or phrase and then she lets the conversations flow from there. Participants sit in groups of four or five and generally start the discussion by explaining why they are attending the death cafe.

Willms said there is not a lot that is off limits for discussion and there is no agenda, but the conversation must remain non-judgmental and no one is permitted to sell anything or preach a specific religion.

Some common discussion themes she remembered from past cafes include advanced care planning, burial arrangements, funeral homes, etc.

However, all of those in attendance are not required to speak. Willms said it is okay to just sit and listen. Halfway through the evening she said she rings a bell so participants know the event is halfway done, but at any time they are welcome to switch tables and join other conversations.

The public conversations are an important part of breaking the stigma surrounding the apprehension of talking in public about death, Willms explained.

“This whole conversation helps with the grief process, it helps with normalizing it and allowing people to talk about something that is just not talked about,” she said.

Sometimes it is easier to start the conversations with strangers than it is to have them with loved ones, she added.

Willms is a registered nurse and has experience in palliative care and geriatric care. She has also taken a “contemplative end of life care” course from the Institute of Traditional Medicine in Toronto, and is starting her own practice as a thana doula or death coach.

Although the death cafe is not part of her professional life, she said encouraging conversations and comfort surrounding discussion about death is something she is passionate about and the café is a way to educate the public.

Willms will co-host the cafe with Linda Croft, a retired registered nurse and fellow Rockwood resident, on April 15 at the Older Adult Centre in the Rockwood library, which is wheelchair accessible.

The conversation will take place from 7 to 9pm with coffee, tea and other snacks provided. Although the cafe is free to attend, donations to cover the cost of the event will be accepted.

This is an adult event, but anyone who is able to sit for two hours and have a conversation is welcome to attend. To register email mwillms2008@gmail.com, go to www.deathcafe.com or call 519-605-0215.

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