Today's date: Friday February 15, 2019
   
column width padding column width padding

The Wellington Advertiser Masthead Logo

We Cover The County...
40,052 Audited Circulation

WEEKLY POLL   |   Community News   |   EQUINE   |   Schools & Buses

Wellington Weddings 2019
Business Leader Banner
column width padding column width padding


WriteOut of Her Mind

by Kelly Waterhouse


Forgot. Forgiven.

He forgot our wedding anniversary. The Carpenter totally blanked.

 

And guess what? I let him. I said nothing. I did nothing. No anger. No guilt. No emotional outbursts or passive aggressive drama. Zero. And for the record: yes, we’re still married and yes, he’s still alive. I promise. I have witnesses.

Part of this was to fluff my ego by proving that this man needs me more than he knows. As the family coordinator of all appointments, activities and payments, the Carpenter expects me to remind him of dates and events. Verbally, of course (What? You thought he read the colour-coordinated family fridge calendar? Snort.).

I didn’t send him a flirty text that morning. I didn’t post a message on social media to tip him off. I wanted to see what would happen if I was no longer the “reminder.”

Worth noting: he forgot the anniversary, but he remembered the Seattle Seahawks played Sunday at 1pm. He planned an entire weekend of chores around his beloved NFL team. Believe me, if Seattle played on our anniversary, the Carpenter would have remembered it. He would have lovingly bought me chip dip and suggested I relax with a movie in a different room. Subtlety is not lost on my man.

That didn’t happen and so, you could say, I dropped the ball on purpose (I cannot speak for the Seahawks). I found it oddly freeing not to put an emphasis on this day, not because it doesn’t matter to me, because believe me, it does. It was more because I was reminded that once-a-year dates don’t matter as much as every day does. Marrying the Carpenter is the one decision I have made in my life that I got right. I have never doubted that. Every good thing I have in my life I have because of my relationship with him. Absolutely everything.

I knew his forgetfulness wasn’t personal. It wasn’t a reflection of his love for me; that was never in question. Work stress, the pressure of keeping us afloat and the overtime to get a job done to deadline were his focus for weeks. Too many rain days, not enough paid hours. Reality. But I also know him well enough to know he doesn’t put value in counting every single year of anything, from birthdays to anniversaries. He just doesn’t. He doesn’t mark time; he prefers to simply live it.

I could have reminded him, but all that would have done is made him feel bad, like he had to jump through some hoop of tradition, spend money we don’t have on things we don’t need, to live up to some expectation that I don’t really have. I wanted him to realize I’m grateful for the moments that we never circle on a calendar.

Four days past our anniversary, the Carpenter remembered. The text message I received was short and sweet. Two words. I will let you guess what they were - if you think it’s “I’m sorry,” think again. Hilarious.

While we’ve changed in our years together, his authenticity has never wavered. He is who he has been for more than 19 years. I still love who he is. That’s enough.

Plans are now underway for our 20th anniversary, for which we’ve decided to go watch a Seattle Seahawks game together.

It’s time we make time.  

Vol 51 Issue 44

 
 

Tell Us What You Think

Login to submit a comment

Comments appearing on this website are the opinion of the comment writer and do not represent the opinion of the Wellington Advertiser. Comments that attack other individuals or are offensive, unsubstantiated or otherwise inappropriate will be removed. You must register or log in in order to post a comment. For more information, read our detailed Comment Policy and Guidelines.

       

ReliableFord

Wellington North Guide 2018-2019

COLUMNISTS

Barrie Hopkins
Barrie Hopkins
Barrie Hopkins
Barrie Hopkins
Bruce Whitestone
Ray Wiseman
Ray Wiseman
Ray Wiseman
Stephen Thorning
Stephen Thorning

Recent Columns

Bits and Pieces

  • Signature bonnet
  • Digital pantomime
  • Connect the dots
  • Generation gap
  • Little things
  • Tylenol kick
  • This Little Piggy
  • Nature's best
  • Business Matters

  • Stepping up
  • The dream
  • Stand out
  • Find adventure
  • Alternative donations
  • Into the fray
  • Canada's Business

  • The decline of civility
  • Irrational exuberance II
  • Speak up
  • An enduring register
  • A government assessment after one year in office
  • Gauge signals
  • Unpatriotic
  • Inevitable
  • Comment from Ottawa

  • The Syria question
  • Reflecting on 2016
  • Open, transparent combat mission?
  • Bad for businesses
  • Have your voice heard on electoral reform
  • Open and transparent?
  • Assisted dying
  • Leadership bid
  • Life-wise

  • Retirement
  • Canadas scarcity of calamity
  • Often we mirror our parents
  • Putting up with put-downs
  • A tale of two landlords
  • A letter from the campsite
  • Two shades of black
  • Precious memories
  • Queen's Park Report

  • Back to work
  • Merry Christmas
  • Remembering them
  • High-cost hydro
  • Six important issues
  • Emancipation Day
  • Great Lakes
  • Happy Canada Day
  • Special to the Advertiser

  • Death of JFK changed the world
  • Split Decision

  • Councillors voting themselves raises
  • The most interesting election races
  • Ketchup conundrum
  • Eliminating burial plots to save trees
  • Organic waste pick up in Wellington
  • Uploading Hwy. 6 Connecting Link
  • Political campaign texts
  • Cannabis legalization coming Oct. 17
  • Staying Connected

  • It’s all about staying connected.
  • Stray Casts

  • Final lines: Its been great
  • Thorning Revisited

  • New wrinkles emerged in bizarre 1877 abduction case
  • Strange abduction case caused excitement in 1877
  • Elora’s first bank run by extraordinary citizen
  • Research can produce more questions than answers
  • Popularity of bicycle peaked from 1896 to 1898 in CW
  • Woman married two men within days, became ‘grass widow’
  • News from the Mapleton Township area in 1952, 1977
  • Gas shortages, heavy bus/train traffic marked WWII holidays
  • Valuing Our History

  • Library, post office replaced Elora’s cattle market
  • Few details survive about Glenlamond saw mill
  • Will of Rev. William Barrie disputed by sister
  • Connon became full-time photographer after trip to Europe
  • Hustonville founded, thrived, vanished in 20 years
  • Lack of railway siding frustrated Fergus’ James Gow
  • Fergus mill made oat flour for Cheerios, other brands
  • Railway passenger service waxed and waned over the 1900s
  • WriteOut of Her Mind

  • Like vs. love
  • Love, laugh, heal
  • Hungry Heart
  • Stoned
  • My promise
  • Dear 2019
  • Post-Christmas syndrome
  • Fergus Santa
  • column width padding column width padding column width padding

    The Wellington Advertiser

    News

    Opinion

    Community

    Deaths

    Digital Publications

    Classifieds


    Twitter Logo

    Free Press News Network Logo