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WriteOut of Her Mind

by Kelly Waterhouse


Super Bowl Sunday is upon us and while I couldn’t care less about NFL football, I will happily hop on the bandwagon.

It’s the perfect excuse to lounge on the couch, eat snacks and rejoice in the bizarre spectacle of watching grown men running head first into each other (which, I confess, is oddly satisfying).

But the best part of an NFL game is watching my spouse, the Carpenter, though I suspect for this year’s Super Bowl he will be a subdued spectator. As a die-hard Seattle fan, his hopes of a championship died hard this season (ouch, I know).

I bet the people of Seattle heard the debacle of that last game from our home in Wellington County. Loud. It’s like that whenever his team takes the field. He cannot be interrupted. It’s all about Seattle. Nothing else matters. It’s funny in marriage how the things about your spouse that annoy you the most also endear them to you.

That endearment doesn’t necessarily go both ways, a fact I was reminded of last Saturday when I watched my team, the Toronto Rock, face off against the New England Black Wolves, in my favourite sport of lacrosse.

Perhaps it’s because I pointed out my ability to multi-task throughout the game, fixated or not. Perhaps it’s because the fourth quarter was epic.

I caught the game on a live stream on my laptop computer, which meant I could take the game with me while I completed tasks around the house. I cooked dinner, washed and dried the dishes, put them away, and I never missed a play. In our bedroom, I sat the computer on the bed and folded three loads of laundry, walked the computer to the laundry room and started two more loads, and when the game paused at half time, I paid our bills online and answered emails.

For the most part I was a subdued fan. I celebrated each goal quietly with my own happy dance. 

At the end of the third quarter, the Rock were up 12-9. I darted through the living room heading to grab some snacks for what would prove to be the most exciting fourth quarter.

The Carpenter, who was watching a movie, made an innocent remark about my lacrosse fanaticism, to which I cleverly pointed out all that I accomplished while watching lacrosse, whereas when football is on, nothing gets done.

“You cannot take your eyes off a football game,” he said in his defense. “Anything can happen.”

Right. Sure. Nice try. Football is the game of stops and starts. Lacrosse is the fastest game on two feet. We agreed to disagree. He went back to his movie, I went back to lacrosse.

That’s when the game exploded. My team earned nine goals in the fourth quarter, three of them in the first four minutes, slamming the competition in a 21-9 final.

And you can be sure I announced every single goal loud and proud, even after he asked me politely not to (see spousal annoyance/endearment explanation above).

The Rock tied for top spot in the eastern division and my chore list was complete. Hallelujah.

I can’t wait to sit still for football and do absolutely nothing.


Vol 51 Issue 05


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